


Just Us

by drew3025



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Gay Male Character, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Mutual Pining, References to Abuse, References to Depression, Romance, Silly, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, nothing major...just like a minor thing, references to death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2020-05-18 16:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19338103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drew3025/pseuds/drew3025
Summary: Sebastian slowly realizes his feelings for Sam and begins to deal with the problems that are bothering him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a WIP. im trying lol, i started getting serotonin from this fanfic again so i guess ill keep writing it. i broke it up into chapters to make it easier to keep track of? the chapters are just bookmarks because im cool and thoughtful and they dont actually have any reflection on the events in the story and anyway tell me nice things about myself (updated 1/30/2020)

The Luau was going as it always did, boring and hot. Sebastian sat on the sand and absentmindedly watched a small crab scuttle away. From afar he saw Sam trying to grab seaweed out of the water. He was trying so hard not to get his new shoes wet. What had Sam called them? Crisp? Sebastian laughed. How could someone be so knowledgeable about music and a complete moron at the same time? He heard a shriek and then cackling. Sam had succeeded in grabbing the seaweed and threw it at Abby. He missed. She didn't.

"I'm glad to see you having a good time." Robin said smiling down at him.

"Yep."

"Why don't you come and have some food with us?"

"Nope."

She sighed and said the invitation wouldn't expire. He nodded and waited until she left. It was smothering living in such a small town where the most lively thing is going to a bar with the same 15 people every week. Sam bounded up to him smelling of sea water. The back of his jacket was traced with a wet outline of Abby's ammo. He plopped down next to him.

"We should put anchovies in the soup." Sam said

"We say this every year. And every year we don't."

"What if I told you I already did."

Sebastian's face lit up. "What really?"

"No." Sam laughed, "Could you imagine though. Oh don't look so bummed out! Hey where are you going?"

Sebastian found a shady umbrella and laid underneath it. He pulled his hood up and over his eyes. Sam followed only to be shooed off. Despite how loud everyone was, Sebastian managed to doze off. He would be harshly woken up by a football crashing into him.

"My bad!" Alex called as he jogged over. Sebastian didn't reply as he tossed it back to Alex.

"Meathead" He grumbled to himself. His side was tender. He watched Alex go back to the small group waiting for him. Leah, Sam, Abby and the farmer got back into the game immediately. Sebastian watched them from afar. He noticed how fast the new guy was. His strong arms tossed the ball almost on par with Alex. Working on a farm for six months would do that for you though. Who would willingly move to the country?

The farmer cheered as he got a point. Sebastian wasn't too interested in the farmer. The mystique of him was lost on Sebastian. He didn't even know his name. He didn't want to know. Everyone was slightly obsessed with this man though. Even Sam had admitted to being intrigued; it annoyed Sebastian to no end. Sebastian was certain that this stranger was some secret murderer. Big fields? Good place to hide bodies. He was too friendly; how could anyone fall for that? He was handsome though. That's how they get you. Charming and handsome? Ted Bundy part two.

Sebastian caught himself staring wistfully at him. He frowned and looked away, only to realize his eyes returned. It was the same way Sebastian stared at Alex when he would jog in the early mornings. Sebastian embarrassed himself. He couldn't look away. The farmer was quite handsome wasn't he. With a groan Sebastian stood up and found his way over to his family.

"Sam seems to like him." Sebastian was pulled from his thoughts. Maru repeated herself. "Why didn't you go hang out with them?"

"Why didn't you?" He grumbled.

Maru laughed, "That's a good question."

"Do you not like him?" Demetrius asked. He sat across from him and Maru. Robin returned with Gus carrying bowls for everyone.

"I don't know him enough to even form that opinion."

"Well if Sam likes him he can't be all that bad." Robin said.

"Poor Sam." Sebastian said to everyone's confusion. "It's always the dumb ones that get murdered first."

"Don't be mean!" Robin fussed.

"He's not a murderer." Maru said at the same time.

Sebastian picked at his food. "It was a joke." It wasn't. The commotion died down and he returned to being a spectator in his own life. He noticed that Alex and his crew were walking away from the water. They apparently had gone for a swim. Sam came over, still in his trunks and asked if they could join. Robin of course said yes. Why did she want so many people at their table? Then the group dispersed and Sam and the farmer sat down. It was just them.

"Wonderful." Sebastian muttered.

Everyone chatted happily. Sam was asked if his mom minded that he sat with them.

"Oh a little, I'll probably hear about it when I get home."

"That's because she's unhinged."

"Sebastian!" Robin scolded. He didn't realize how loud he had said it. Sam laughed and agreed.

The Luau started winding down. Sam spent most of it chatting with the farmer or Sebastian's family. What was the point of sitting with them if he was just going to ignore his best friend? Did Sebastian want to be included in their discussion? No. Never. Did he still want attention? A little. Time dragged on and then it was time to clean.

"Want to come over and play video games?" Sam asked as they finished picking up the last of the tables in Mayor Lewis's shed.

"I had plans to go mope in my bed tonight but I guess I can cancel them."

Sam grinned broadly and tugged him along. Robin waved at them as they left; only Sam waved back.

"I'm gonna shower. You can start playing if you want." Sam said once they were in his room. He threw his clothes in a heap on the floor and grabbed his towel. "Do you need to shower too? I think you left some of your clothes here from the last time you slept over."

"We're not kids Sam we didn't sleep over. I just crashed on your couch."

"Whatever makes you feel better about yourself. Do you need to shower or no?"

"Yeah I will."

"Wanna sleep over tonight?"

"Sure I'll crash here." Sebastian emphasized.

Sam rolled his eyes. He told Sebastian to text his mom and let her know he hadn't gotten murdered; then disappeared from the doorway.

"Like hell I will." He mumbled once he was alone. His mother made no effort to check up on him so why did she deserve to know where he was? If he would disappear off the face of the planet only Sam would care.

Sebastian sighed and tried to take his mind off of it. He turned on Sam's console and started playing whatever game was already there. He played on Sam's profile, but had no idea what he was doing. He wasn't trying very hard either. He paused the game; the rhythmic hum of the shower was still very audible. He could hear the faint whistle of Sam singing along to a song in his head. Sebastian took this opportunity to open the window and smoke. Jodie was out tonight so he had nothing to worry about. She had caught him once and nearly threw a fit, going as far as to threatening to call his mother. What difference would that have made? He hurried and finished his cigarette once he heard the shower turn off. Sam came back into the room a few minutes later.

"Why are you just in your boxers?" Sebastian asked.

"Because I just got out the shower?"

"It's indecent."

"It's my room."

"My eyes."

"Don't look then." Sam said. Sebastian rolled his eyes; his face felt warm. Had he been staring? Sam leaned over to grab his deodorant. Sebastian caught himself staring at the way Sam's muscles moved. "Besides what does it matter? We used to take baths as kids."

"Don't make it weird." Sebastian said as he grabbed an extra towel. Purposely turning away from his friend.

Sam combed his hair back. It was getting long and a little lighter from the summer sun. "Poor old Sebby, too cool to admit he enjoyed bath time when we were five."

"You think I'm cool? I'm touched."

Sam threw his towel at him. Sebastian laughed as he left the room. He took a shorter shower than usual; he was in a relatively good mood at the moment. That wouldn't last for long. He returned from his shower, towel wrapped around his hair. He stopped abruptly. To his annoyance the farmer was there sitting with Sam on the floor. His clothes were stacked neatly next to him.

Before Sebastian could say anything, Sam chimed in happily. "We are gonna have a group sleepover! Video games all night!"

Sebastian didn't say much. He walked over to Sam's closet and put on the rest of his clothes. He laid down on Sam's bed and took out his phone. The service was awful but he would rather watch a screen that would never load than interact with them.

"Sebby, are you coming play?" Sam asked. Sebastian was annoyed with how soon he was asked; he couldn't even feign being asleep yet.

"That's a cute nickname." The farmer mused quietly.

"You sound like my mother." Sebastian replied ignoring the farmer. Sam prompted him again. "I don't feel like it."

"But Seb you love-"

"I also love peace and quiet."

Sam let it drop. The evening was awkward despite his best efforts to liven it up. He didn't want his best friend to be so miserable. He messaged him in between respawns on his game. "Are you upset at me?" Sam messaged.

Sebastian scrolled mindlessly on his phone for a while before replying that he wasn't. "I just wanted to spend time with you. We don't get to see each other as much as we used to."

"I didn't realize it would make you upset. I could not invite him next time." Sam typed back.

Sebastian sighed as he messaged back, "No it's okay. I know I'm being ridiculous. I don't mind him being here I just wasn't expecting it. Sorry for ruining the night."

"I'll check with you first next time."

"It's fine."

"Do you want to play yet?"

"No I already decided I was going to make myself miserable."

Sam chuckled to himself, "Okay but if you finish that early this controller has your name on it."

Sebastian smiled at his phone. He didn't deserve Sam. He scrolled on his phone for a while longer before drifting off to sleep. Maybe the night wasn't a total bust.


	2. Chapter 2

Sebastian would wake up around dawn. It was always too bright in Sam's room. He rolled over and bumped into something. He groggily opened his eyes to find Sam laying next to him. His breath hitched in his throat and his face flushed. He wasn't expecting for him to be so close. Sam snored contently. They both laid on top of the sheets; a fan oscillating at the foot of the bed. Sebastian gingerly climbed out of bed. Maybe he should leave. He stepped out from bed and saw an air mattress sprawled on the floor; the farmer laid there, face smashed into the pillow, covers kicked to the side. Sebastian didn't have time to examine what he felt he was on the verge of bladder failure.   
When Sebastian returned, nothing had changed. He contemplated leaving. But his things were shoved under the bed, which was inaccessible at the moment. He gave up and climbed back into bed. Sam had plugged Sebastian's phone into a charger. It was perhaps the most thoughtful thing that has ever happened to him. He snatched his phone and turned so he faced the wall. He wasn't tired strangely enough. Hopefully everyone woke up soon. As he scrolled aimlessly on his phone, taking pointless online quizzes, he felt something warm snake around him. He jumped slightly only to realize it was Sam's arm. Sam held him firmly against him. He smelled nice. A mixture of fresh laundry and clean hair. He was warm and if it had not been for the fan it would have been unbearable.   
  
Sebastian laid there very still. He thought he hated being touched, but this he didn't mind. He eventually relaxed against Sam; the pressure as Sam squeezed him felt nice. His heart finally calmed enough for him to return to his quiz. He never got the character he wanted. Sam stirred from his sleep and Sebastian pretended that he wasn't awake. 

Perhaps it was his hyper vigilance, having every nerve ending in his body on his alert, but Sebastian could have sworn that as Sam stirred from his sleep he felt a soft touch of lips to his head. That couldn't have been right. Why would Sam do something like that? They were friends since they were children. Did they kiss each other as kids? Yes but that's just how babies are! There was a clear moment that they stopped sharing a bed and hugging each other. It was around the time that Sebastian started noticing how he was everyone's second choice.  
  
The kiss, if that's what it was, ended.  He felt as Sam brought his body as close to him as possible. Sebastian didn't realize how much he missed being held. Sam buried his face into Sebastian's shoulder. Time stopped. And then it was over. Sam rolled away from him and got out of bed. He tiptoed carefully around the air mattress and left the room.  
What changed? Who does that to a friend? He didn't realize the tears that welled up in his eyes. He hurriedly wiped them away as he heard the toilet flush. Sebastian pretended to wake up as Sam slid back into bed. Sam apologized for disturbing him.  
  
"Sorry I had to sleep next to you; the couch is occupied."  
"That's okay." Sebastian mumbled quietly. "Occupied?"  
"Vincent stayed over at Marnie's and Mom got drunk last night."  
"Is she like...okay?"  
"I don't know man. Probably not if we're being honest. A few months ago, I heard her talk to Abby's mom about how she feels like she had kids too young." Sam paused. Sebastian offered to let it drop. Sam thanked him.   
  
The farmer jolted up suddenly, scaring them. "What time is it?" He clawed the sheets around the floor looking for his clothes. "My chickens!" He wailed as he was told the time. In a rush of activity, he thanked them for a fun night, grabbed his clothes and ran out of the house, sleep still crusting his eyes. They watched him nearly sprint out of town, pajamas flapping loosely behind him. They laughed. What a strange guy.  
  
Once they were able to compose themselves, they got up and cleaned the mess they made. Sebastian proposed they go have lunch at Gus's. Sam has never refused food. They got dressed; Sebastian made a point to not glance over. Sam left a note on the fridge so that his mother wouldn't burn the whole town looking for him. They were in high spirits as they walked into the bar. Gus was polishing glasses. He looked surprised to see them. They sat down and ordered lunch. The food took longer than if they had made it, but it was well worth the wait.   
They leisurely enjoyed their time together. Sebastian asked if Sam wanted to stay over with him tonight. Sam seemed excited. They chatted animatedly. Gus moved further away to give them privacy. Or perhaps because he thought they were annoying. The duo teased each other resulting in Sam tossing an onion ring as Sebastian. Gus gave them a stern look, and they giggled much to his agitation.   
"I get dibs on your bed." Sam said after one-upping Sebastian in a game of Embarrass. The rules? Embarrass each other until the other one blushes or gives up.  
"It's my bed!"  
"Well it's either the floor or sleeping next to me it's your choice." Sam retorted to which Sebastian frowned. "You seemed to enjoy it last night."   
Sebastian couldn't respond. He didn't know what to say. So that was on purpose and not just a misdirected pillow cuddling. He blushed deeply and looked down. His stomach hurt.  
"Oh Seb I'm sorry! I was just picking! Did I upset you?"  
"No. It's okay."   
Sam kept apologizing. And once they finished their meal he apologized again. Despite Sebastian's best effort to drop it, Sam persisted. They arrived to Sebastian's house. Robin greeted them with a warm smile. Sam talked to her for a moment before following after Sebastian that had already gone to his room.   
"We need another person." Sebastian sighed once Sam walked in. He was looking at his game board.   
"We could ask C-"  
"If you suggest the farmer I'm going to make you sleep outside."  
"Why do you dislike him so much?"  
Sebastian was turned away from Sam; he was setting up his console and dragging his bean bag chairs out from the corner. He frowned to himself. That was a good question. "You're awfully chummy with him."  
"Well yeah." Sam sat down with a soft thud. "He's my friend."  
"I can't believe you're in love with Ted Bundy." He mumbled to himself.  
"Are you jealous?"  
Sebastian felt like he was stabbed. That couldn't be right. Why would he be jealous? He had no reason to be. Maybe jealous that Sam was spending more time with the farmer lately, but what did that matter? Sam could hang out with whoever he wanted, he was a grown man. But it was the truth wasn't it. Sebastian was jealous.   
"Fat chance." Sebastian said as he turned the tv on and sat down.   
"I don't know you seem a little jealous to me."  
"You caught me I'm madly in love with you, and I'm going to kill the farmer for taking you away from me. Is that what you wanted to hear?"   
"Yeah actually."  
Sebastian couldn't help but smile at his friend. Sam was a moron but he was sweet.  
"You know he has a name right?" Sam said.  
"I don't know it and I don't wanna know it. He's just Ted to me."  
Sam laughed, "You're a complete idiot."

  
They played video games until Robin called them up for dinner. Sebastian groaned. He couldn't skip eating though he hadn't eaten since he got up. They paused their game and joined Sebastian's family in the dining room. Plates were passed and food was served. Sebastian receded into his thoughts as he picked at his food. He suddenly wasn't very hungry. Robin commented on it; she always did. He deflected it and the conversation returned to normal. Sam placed a reassuring hand on Sebastian's leg. No one noticed the gesture. Thankfully Sam acted as though nothing was happening. Sebastian smiled to himself.   
"Did you hear?" Robin said pulling Sebastian from his thoughts.  
"No."  
"Maru got accepted into her first pick!"   
"She'll be heading off to college way to soon." Demetrius added looking at Maru with a mixture of pride and sadness.  
Sam asked what she intended on majoring in. She admitted she was torn between two fields. Both sounded way too complicated for Sam's tastes.  
"I kind of regret not going to college." Sam said. "But Dad was away and Mom was having such a hard time with things that I didn't think having me out of the house would be too good for her."   
"Well what about once he gets back?" Maru asked.  
"I don't know. I've kind of accepted this is how it is. And besides I wasn't doing too hot in school anyway."  
"What about you Sebastian?" Demetrius asked, "Any plans on doing something other than sleep all day?"  
"Nope."  
"You have to want to do something. You can't stay at home forever." Robin added.  
"Then when you kick me out I'll get a job."  
"Sebastian."  
"Maru's doing more than enough for the both of us. I'll ride on her coattails."  
Robin and Demetrius looked at each other a little hopeless. Demetrius apologized for bringing it up. Sebastian didn't really respond. When the conversation finally stopped being awkward, Sebastian stood up and walked out of the house. Sam stared after him concerned.   
When dinner concluded, Sam thanked Sebastian's parents for the food. Sebastian wasn't back so Sam slipped out when no one was looking and walked to the lake. Sebastian was sitting on the pier. He had his legs in the water. His shoes were still on.  
"You're washing your shoes?" Sam asked. He waited until Sebastian sighed for him to sit down. "No seriously why are your shoes still on?"

"Take off your shoes might as well take your pants off. Let bugs crawl in your underwear."  
Sam laughed, "Dude, what?"  
Sebastian shrugged, "I always wondered how awful it would be." Sam asked him. "Oh pretty awful. In fact I hate it." He pulled his legs out the water, slid his shoes off and stood up. He hurled his shoes one after another into the lake. He sat back down and lit another cigarette.   
"You gave some fish a cool pair of sneakers."  
"Gotta give back sometimes, you know?"  
"You're absolutely right." Sam stood up and followed Sebastian's lead. Sebastian cheered and they cursed loudly in exhilaration. "Want me to go grab another pair?"  
"Don't give too much. You know how fish are."  
They laughed together. It was nice to hear Sebastian laugh. Sam looked around for other things to toss in. When they ran out, Sebastian laid down.   
"How long do you wanna stay out for?"  
"Until they go to bed."  
Sam laid down on the rough pier too. They watched the stars together. "Is your mom going to kill you about those shoes?" Sebastian asked after a while.   
"Definitely. Is yours?"  
He shrugged, "Not much she could do about it." He was quiet for a moment. "Do you ever wish to like...just not exist anymore?" Sam asked him what he meant. "Not like killing yourself, well maybe, but not really. Like to wish you just weren't alive, like you had never been born."  
"Sometimes, yeah. But I think everyone gets like that."  
Sebastian turned his head. "I feel like that almost all the time...except when you're around. When we're together...I feel like maybe existing isn't as overwhelming as I think it is." Sam was speechless for a moment. "Sorry if that made you uncomfortable or like I was putting too much on you."  
"No, no. I...just..."  
"Yeah?"  
"You just look really handsome right now, and I got embarrassed."  
Sebastian howled with laughter and kicked his legs up splashing them with cold water. "Come on you homo let's go in." Sebastian stood up and helped Sam up. As he let his grip go, Sam pulled him closer and hugged him. Sebastian recoiled slightly, but relaxed immediately afterwards. They stood like that for a few moments longer. "Thank you." Sebastian said quietly. They let each other go and headed inside.  
"Why are your pants wet? Where are your shoes?" Robin asked. She was sitting in the kitchen much to Sebastian's annoyance. Why was she up so late. She seemed absolutely bewildered. "Sam, you too? What happened?" The two boys laughed together and whatever worry Robin had on her face melted away. Sebastian was happy. Even if only for a moment. "Do you want me to make you anything?" She asked sweetly. They declined and grabbed whatever snacks were on hand. They sat across from her but was engulfed in their own conversation. She watched as Sebastian nervously fiddled with his hair, something he had done since he was a child. Both of their faces were tinged pink. She smiled to herself, stood up to put her dishes in the sink and wished them a goodnight. Sebastian didn't reply. She didn't expect him to. She closed the door to her bedroom as the hushed laughter of her son was heard. 

The night continued. They played games until morning. Sebastian passed out on his bean bag chair. Sam slept on Sebastian's bed. When Sebastian woke up he found a blanket wrapped around him and the mess they had made cleaned up. He glanced over, his eyes barely open, and saw Sam asleep. He smiled unconsciously. Sebastian got up quietly and tip toed his way upstairs. It was Tuesday so the house was more or less empty. Demetrius popped in to write down data from his observations, but for the most part was by the lake looking at fish. Or something. Sebastian didn't actually know what he did. Sebastian scuttled to the bathroom. Once done he went to the kitchen and made breakfast. Normally he would just eat cereal if he ate anything at all. It was only 10 o'clock, had he really only slept for 4 hours? The sizzle of bacon echoed loudly in the quiet house. As he started the eggs, he heard Sam sleepily find his way from the bathroom. He commented on Sebastian only wearing his boxers and oversized T-shirt. Sebastian slapped his butt in response and put bread in the toaster. Sam sat at the table, yawning widely. Sam stayed out of Sebastian's way and once breakfast was divided, got up to grab his plate.

Sam reached around Sebastian to grab the salt. There was no reason for this. Sebastian could have easily grabbed it. Sam brushed against him. It wasn't until he moved that Sebastian realized he was holding his breath. He regained himself, grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down with his friend. They didn't say very much mostly because Sam was still half asleep. After three glasses of orange juice, he seemed alert enough to hold a conversation. 

"What's the plan for today?" Sam asked.

"Don't you have work?"

"Oh shit. You're right. Should I call-in?"

"Dude its eleven. You got time."

"Yeah but...I don't wanna." Sam whined. Sebastian rolled his eyes. He crossed his legs and drank his coffee. "If I do get the day off. What do you want to do?"

"I also have work to do today." Sebastian said much to Sam's dismay. "Besides your mom is going to fight you if you call in again."

Sam rested his head on his fist. He traced wet circles on the table. "I just don't want to leave."

Sebastian stood up and took their plates. Sam got up and stretched. Sebastian started to walk out the kitchen. Why was he being so cold all of a sudden? He wanted Sam around, but something was stopping him. 

As he passed by, Sam grabbed his wrist. "Can I come over tonight then?" 

Sebastian's face turned pink. "Why?"

"I just...want to be with you." Sam smiled gently and let go of his hand. "You're my best friend."

"Sure." Sebastian said after a long bout of silence. Sam was happy with the answer. Sebastian said his stomach hurt and went to the bathroom as Sam went downstairs to grab his clothes. Sebastian sat in the bathroom for a while. He waited until he heard the front door close before he finished up. He sat in embarrassed silence. His boxers were soaking wet. He put his head in his hands and tried to stop thinking about it. The way Sam looked at him, nearly desperately as he asked to stay was burned into his thoughts. 

"We're not doing this today." He declared to himself. He finished in the bathroom and exited. Demetrius was in his lab and asked if everything was alright. "It sure is, because I'm not dealing with my problems." Demetrius tried to reply but Sebastian had already disappeared down the stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

Sebastian could be heard clicking away on his keyboard. That good ol' tactile feedback. Why did he have to have that thought every time he used his computer? The dish washer vibrated the floor; dinner was finally finished. Sebastian had to wait until the kitchen was clear to eat anything. He didn't have the energy to talk to his family. Besides, all they would talk about is Maru's college anyway. After a nauseatingly long time, his family dispersed to their evening activities. It was time to strike. He tiptoed out of his room. Wonderful, he thought, breakfast for dinner. He barely even liked breakfast for breakfast much less dinner. His stomach hurt. He tried to eat some eggs but gave up rather quickly. He brewed more coffee. Sebastian sat at the kitchen table while he scrolled on his phone; his head propped up by his fist mashing into his cheek.

"Hey Seb." Maru said surprised as she walked into the kitchen, empty container of ice cream in her hand. He glanced up to show that he acknowledged her but stayed silent.

  
  


  
  



End file.
